Welcome to I Should Have Said where we teach verbal self-defense and how to stand up for yourself the easy way. Whether it is in the change room or the bedroom, no guy wants to be ridiculed for having a small penis. If you do have a small penis, it can be devastating to have someone make an insensitive comment, especially publicly. After watching porn, fifty percent of men actually want to have a bigger member. Honestly, big penises are overrated. The average vaginal canal is only inches deep.
And, truly, is there anything more juvenile than a good dick joke? These dick jokes, puns, and one-liners are just the tip of the laughter iceberg. Bringing the male membrane into a gag is always hilarious. Now that all the puns are out of the way, enjoy these hilarious, perfectly raunchy dick jokes.
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There are three naughty boys in a classroom: Zip, Dick, and Pea. The teacher leaves the room and Zip gets on top of her desk, Dick goes inside a cabinet, and Pea runs out the window and waves. Zip down, Dick out, and Pea in the corner!
He got cock blocked. Where do bad dicks go? To the penistentiary. Did you know that men have three knees? The right knee, the left knee, and the wee knee. What does the on a closed brothel say?
Beat it. Why did the dick go crazy? Someone was messing with his head. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She choked What fruit is good for your sperm count? A kumquat! A trampoline for dicks. Where does the penis get his workout outfit? Life is like a dick. It gets hard for no reason, and it is much too short. What does 69 equal? A couple of mouthfuls. What do you call a man with three legs? Tom, Dick, and Harry. Why are you being passive-aggressive?
Do you have a boner to pick with me or something? Why did the battleship need a deep clean? It was full of seamen. What do you call a penis on a beach getaway? Sunny D. Political opinions are like dicks. If they did, they would be uncles! Warner Bros. Did you hear about the man with five dicks? His pants fit like a glove. Religion is like a penis.
What did the penis say to the condom? They just erected it. What do you call a printed dick pic? A hard copy. What do you call a self-centered penis? My boss told me to stop shortening his name to Dick. What do you call a bunny with a crooked dick?
Want to stand up for yourself without being a jerk?
Fucks Funny. Rude people are like dicks. How long is my dick? I only have one ruler.
Melt them, turn them into a tire and call it a Goodyear. A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel attached to the front of his pants. Nobody laughs at your jokes. I tried phone sex once. But the holes in the dialer were too small. My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records. Then the librarian told me to take it out. Knock, knock. Some who? Some dickhead talking to a knock knock joke.
What do you call a useless piece of skin on a penis? A penis The pharmaceutical term for Viagra is mycoxaflopin. And the generic brand is mydixadrupin. A wife and a husband were setting up their computers. The computer said the password was too short.
Find the best small dick insults here!
A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One sack has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. It became a problem because it kills the flowers. A dick-tater. Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his dick inside Princess Leia for the first time? It was Luke warm. I never tried lighting it. A rip-off. Brain: What if trees had dicks?
Me: Go to bed. Brain: Tree dicks. Me: … Brain: Tree dicks everywhere. Me: … Brain: Hear me out — treenises. Friend No. Scientist: Dick bug. Other scientist: No. Scientist: Penis beetle. Scientist: Cock roach.
Other scientist: OK, sure. What do you call a puppet with a big dick?